Retraining the Brain
In many circumstances, what we perceive to be reality isn’t always correct especially when it involves others. We often think we know what others are thinking or why they did certain things when in actuality, we really don’t have a clue. And for some strange reason, for many of us, our initial reaction to actions or comments leans towards the negative side of things. After doing this enough times, it tends to get us down. Sometimes, we just need to retrain our thought process to feel better.
Here’s what we mean…
Let’s say you’re a guy who asks a girl out on a date and she says “No.” For some guys, that’s devastating. When that rejection happens they find themselves looking inward for the fault. They immediately begin thinking there’s something wrong with them. They have thoughts like “I’m too ugly”, “She’s out of my league” or “There’s just something wrong with me.”
As you can imagine, if he were to continue down this thought process consistently it would significantly tear down his confidence and his future performance would suffer as a result. The next time he asked a girl out, he wouldn’t be firing on all cylinders and his results would probably be the same thus leading him farther into despair. If you were to ask him how those thoughts made him feel ranking himself between 1 and 10 (with 10 feeling Superlicious), he’d probably be somewhere south of 5.
If we spend a minute on this particular scenario and try to come up with other possible alternatives as to why this girl said “No” to his date, I bet we could come up with some great reasons. How about some of these… “She’s already in a relationship”, “She already has plans for that same night” or “She just got out of a relationship and doesn’t want to start dating right away.” There are many possibilities that have nothing to actually do with him. If he were to rank himself after thinking about these possible scenarios, his results would be much higher.
If you compare the two thought processes, one definitely makes the young man feel better about himself vs the other. The reality is, none of us know what the actual truth is. Even if she tells him the reason, that doesn’t guarantee that he knows the real reason. If you don’t know what someone else is thinking (no one ever does), then which scenario do you want to spend the most time on? The one that makes you feel better or worse? Hopefully better was your answer
You can follow this pattern in all aspects of life. If something has you down, try to see it from a different perspective. We’ve put together a “thought record” to help you do just that. Feel free to download and share it with others. After following the steps enough times, you’ll become a pro at positive thinking and it will take a lot to knock you off your game.
Your brain is what releases the endorphins into your system. Remember… you determine your own happiness.